The Oil of Relationships
36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said.
41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Luke 7:36-50
“I DON’T think I can ever forgive him after what he said. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“She asked me to forgive her, and I said I would. But I can’t.”
“She’s dead now. She can’t apologize-so I won’t forgive her.”
You live in a culture saturated with stored-up grudges, resentments, bitterness, and broken hearts. When people don’t take time to confront and mend those hurts when they cling to attitudes like the ones you see in those sad statements above they rip apart relationships. They break up the closeness God intends between Christians. They dull the cutting edge of the Holy Spirit in the lives of individuals. And they split families, friends, youth groups, and churches.
Forgiveness works like oil in relationships. It reduces friction and allows people to get close to each other without overheating.
If you don’t sense a forgiving heart in someone, you won’t ever be truly open and vulnerable to him or her. You know that an unforgiving person won’t give you half a chance to develop a deep, lasting, and close relationship. And if you aren’t a forgiving person-no matter how smart, talented, or downright good-looking you might be-you won’t develop the close relationships you want. When you aren’t able to forgive, even little conflicts blow your friendships to bits.
But once you learn to forgive others who wrong you, your relationships grow strong. You can talk openly and meaningfully. If someone can love you despite your faults and accept you even when you have wronged them, you can’t help but become even better friends.
Your know-how in handling this one skill-forgiveness-Iargely determines how you handle conflicts in your relationships. Ask yourself:
Do I accept each situation where forgiveness is necessary as an opportunity to strengthen relationships and develop my own character?
Do I study the needs of people who hurt me and try to understand them?
Do I know that God will deal fairly with my offender if that person needs punishment-and that it’s not my job to punish him or her?
Do I choose to thank God for each difficult experience and allow his love and grace to grow in me as a result?
When you want to learn how to forgive, Christ is your model. His forgiveness was absolute and immediate. Think about it: He even forgave the men who crucified him! So when you feel tempted to rip someone’s head off, be like Christ: Forgive.
REFLECT: How skilled are you at forgiving-and receiving forgiveness?
PRAY: Ask God to help you learn the crucial habit of forgiveness.
Josh McDowell
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