Every time I’ve heard the story of Jesus and his crucifixion, I’ve always wondered about his prayer at Gethsemane, particularly the deep sorrow he expressed. It seems he is reluctant to go through with the crucifixion. In Matthew 26:36, Jesus takes his disciples to Gethsemane and tells them to stay wait while he goes to pray. However he takes with him Peter, James, and John. Then the Bible lets us know that he became heavy and exceedingly sorrowful. Later in verse 38 & 39, it goes on to say that Jesus fell on his face and prayed that if it be possible to let this cup pass. Here we believe that by "the cup" he was referring to his soon to be crucifixion and to let the cup pass means is this the only way?  My question is WHY? We know Jesus is God, sovereign, and all knowing. So why if he knew this would lead to the salvation of hundreds of millions then why? I understood he was flesh, but I also knew John 3:16. I know I would have been scared, and dreading it but Jesus is God to see him distraught was confusing. Since Jesus overcame all sin, and temptation why then was he so upset about this? The fact is he was not a little upset, because in verse 42 he prays a second time repeating the first prayer. Again in verse 44he prays a third time the exact prayer. Jesus was very distraught in Mark 14:34 Jesus says "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death". Imagine how he must have felt he prayed 3 times. In Matthew 26:41 and Mark14:38. After praying once he wakes Peter, James, and john saying "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Jesus was talking about himself saying truly my spirit wants to do this and I know great victory will come because of it. At the same time my flesh is weak. Jesus did know through this we would be saved but the question WHY still hung in my head. What made it most difficult for Jesus? Was it the cat of nine tails or the crown of thorns? Perhaps the spear in his side or the cross itself. I do believe it was painful torturous even. Above all else though I am convinced that it was the mockery, the spitting in his face, and the embarrassment. The comments people made, and yelled at him in daring tones. See for us as complete flesh we always look at the physical side of it, at least I did. Not that I diminished how horrible the mockery, and spitting among other things was. Honestly though as God who created the world, The Universe, and all the laws it abides by Time, Gravity, and Inertia. The God who created the very people who yelled "Let him be crucified". The God who came down to heal those very people, and knows every hair on their head! Just imagine how humiliating, and embarrassing that must have been. To have all that power, and knowledge. Yet continue to go through that because He KNEW that through this we could be saved! So my message is this. We say we want to win souls. To see people saved, and for God to use us to reach the lost. In honesty though do we want this? In reality if you want to be a soul winner prepare to be embarrassed as Christ was!!! Prepare to be mocked, and laughed at!! Prepare to be humiliated maybe even spit on. Talked about outcast, hated, and Crucified!!!! Jesus said to deny yourself take up your cross and follow me! When I talk to people about God I’m 100% sure he is real, and he is the way to salvation. At the same time sometimes my face gets hot my heart drops in my stomach there’s  a voice inside my head that says " what if they laugh at you, what if someone hears me, or I mess up”. My hands get sweaty I may even feel embarrassed! Not because I’m embarrassed of Jesus or because I’m shy even. There’s just something about witnessing that seems hard. I truly believe that you want to win souls you have to be willing to deny yourself! You have to say look if I’m mocked, laughed at, or even spit on the CHANCE this Gospel might be spread. The CHANCE this person could experience what I have, and it change their life just a CHANCE is worth all the embarrassment! That by CHANCE talking to this person, knocking on this door, praying with a friend in class could result in. See Jesus faced way worse than just a kid at school laughing at us. Even though at the time it may seem humiliating just remember how humiliated he was so that you could go to church Sunday, and worship! So that you could receive the gift of The Holy Ghost! Like Jesus said "our spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". Truly we all want to win souls and see people saved, that’s our spirit, but our flesh says otherwise. When it comes down to it if we want to win souls we have to deny ourselves and our flesh and say I’m willing to be humiliated for Jesus.

-Gabriel Gissiner